Bible With Us

I'm dusting off my poor abandoned blog today, to share a new project I'm starting with a friend. But first: a small explanation.

This blog started off as a homework assignment. I was taking an Old Testament Survey class and the professor wanted us to journal along, in a manner of our liking, throughout the term. My time in that classroom, under the teaching of AJ Swoboda, changed my perspective of who God is and vastly shaped the way I read my Bible. After the term ended, this blog became a space to sort out my thoughts, sharpen my writing skills and receive compliments from my parents, who are perhaps the only ones that read it. 

I've always had a God-given appetite for Scripture. When I obtained a Bible in a decent translation with a reasonable commentary, I was hooked. I carried my Bible in my purse and pulled it out at any free moment (flip phone era). I consumed Paul's letters on my lunch break at work, I scanned the Psalms waiting in line for my latte, I poured over the gospels on my couch in my apartment. I don't think this habit is worth bragging about, or worth you feeling bad about if you don't do this. I consider it a gift. Some people discipline themselves into regularly reading the Bible, and some people naturally do it. I struggle greatly with eating clean and exercising regularly. I dislike running and I really like packaged chips and chocolate milk. I'm thankful for friends in my life who extend their healthy lifestyle to me. Friends who invite me along to a yoga class or a long walk, and who share vegetable-filled recipes with me. I feel so much better when I make healthy choices, but it's work for me. Hard work. This comparison got me thinking that perhaps my love of reading the Bible is something to be shared. 

I've been reading the Bible on a daily basis for the past five years and it has changed my life. My marriage. My relationships. My attitude. My choices. It anchors me to who God is and pulls me out of the dark, lonely place my anxiety-ridden self circles. I've been in plenty of conversations over the years with people who feel distant or unloved by God. At some point, it comes out that they haven't been reading their Bible and an excuse is offered. 

"I don't understand it." (That's fine. It's confusing. Dive in anyway.)

"I don't have time." (You do, actually.)

"I don't get anything out of it." 

That's fair. It's hard to know where to start, it's hard to follow (get a chronological Bible, it's great!), and it's especially hard in culture today to read anything longer than a status update or news heading. 

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I started reading through the Bible chronologically with my friend Bethany a few years ago. I struck gold on that one. Not only is she habitual about her daily quiet time, she is wise beyond her years with a wealth of knowledge about Scripture, a humble wit and forgiving nature. In the name of accountability, we started reading the same books and sending quick emails to each other every day about what we read. I was always richly encouraged by what she shared and hopefully, she was encouraged by what I shared. 

So, not that the world needed another blog: but we started one! Biblewithus.com is up and running as of today. We will be sharing daily reading prompts as we read through the Bible. Our first book is 1 Samuel and we'll cover two chapters a day. Daily application, direction and snarky anecdotes will all be included. We're also giving people the opportunity to share what they're reading and guest blog. I don't think I'm the only one who experiences insight while reading the Bible, so I'm looking forward to reading what you have to say! 

Follow along at here. We kick off on Monday!

A case for Thanksgiving

Sometimes I have a hard time coming up with why I like Thanksgiving so much. Well, a reason outside of "I love rolls". Maybe it's because I'm a sucker for hype. One meal, once a year. In my family, this means a big count down to fried turkey and my attempt to come up with a decent gluten-free crust (vinegar and rice flour, by the way). Often I feel as a Christian, I'm suppose to defend it. Thankfulness and gathering together are Christian staples, right? But gluttony and consumption and celebrating a really controversial historical event feels wrong. But then I think of the part in the beautiful Christmas story where countless baby boys were murdered as Herod searched for Jesus. And how Christmas can be filled with gluttony and consumption. And I feel like perhaps no celebration can go unscathed by some sort of evil.

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I grew up in an incredibly stable family. As a result of that, our holidays pretty much looked the same every year. My parents always hosted, the same crowd came over, the same food was served and the same stories were told. I loved it. I'm a creature of habit, I dislike change and I love tradition. Our first year of marriage, Matt and I were living in southern California and consequently, were broke. When fall rolled around, we decided to stay in town for Thanksgiving and save up to travel for Christmas. I was borderline devastated. Neither of us had family in the area and since I had just moved there six months prior, I could count my friends on one hand. The image of us frying a 12lb turkey for ourselves brought me to tears. Over the next few weeks, we joined a team of people who moved to the area to plant a church. There were around ten of us, all varying in age and circumstances. The only things we had in common were we wanted to share Jesus with the city and we were far from home. 

A few weeks after meeting, one of the couples offered to host Thanksgiving dinner for anyone interested and soon we were scheduling out a meal plan. I remember that holiday so clearly. We all cooked together, we ate midday, we watched football. I burned the appetizer I was suppose to provide. Everyone chipped in on dishes. It was one of the most amazing fellowship experiences I've ever had. The people we had met just weeks prior seemed like family. Over the next few years, they did become family. Matt and I spent the following three Thanksgivings with them and a couple Christmases.

I love the idea that on Thursday night people all over the country will imitate something beautifully designed by God: feasting with loved ones. I'm not ignoring the fact that there's an ugly historical side to this meal, or that millions of people will go to bed hungry Thanksgiving night, and many other nights. I'm simply grateful for the kingdom-likeness of this holiday. I was surprised recently how many times I came across a tradition that involved feasting in the Old Testament. The Bible is marked by meals, traditions and celebrations. I'm looking forward to imitating that later this week over a big meal, but I also desire to bring those qualities into my home all the time.

Like inviting others over for meals, staying grateful and remembering the hard, ugly parts of my history that made the truly beautiful, redeemed parts possible.

The long way.

"When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land. God said, 'If the people are faced with battle, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.' 

So God led them in a roundabout way through the wilderness toward the Red Sea." Exodus 13:17-18a

If you ever feel deliberately led into the wilderness by God's hand, take heart. He might be helping you make wide circles around a battlefield that would send you tearing away in the opposite direction of the freedom he has planned for you. Maybe not every time. Sometimes wilderness is just wilderness; life is hard and full of it. But my trust in him grows a little bit when I read those verses. He isn't looking at our lives day by day, like we are. He knows the whole story, from beginning to end, and knows the safest and best route, even when it's not the shortest. He never promised us efficiency. He's intentional. He uses the weak to lead the strong. He's slow to anger. He waits. He's calculated and he takes us (often drags) through the process with him, even when it means taking the roundabout way through the wilderness. 

A few chapters later, Moses tells the Israelites "Don't be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today...the Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm." (14:13)  

Contentment Part III: Remembering

I've kept a journal as far back as I can remember. Recently, I packed up over 45 diaries with locks and spiral notebooks from over the years. I learned from an early age (the hard way) that you should never write down anything you wouldn't want someone else to read. Journaling was more of a way to process and a space to not-so-verbally express what my very verbal self needed to.  I kept the secret-revealing to minimum and over the years it developed from recording-keeping of who I had a crush on to an on-going conversation with God. A space where I could unpack the things I was learning, the things I didn't understand, the hurts, the joys and the questions.

Whether writing comes naturally to you or you need to discipline yourself into it, I think everyone should write. In particular, I think prayer journaling is really important. If you struggle with talking to someone you can't see, prayer journaling is perfect for you. If you're reading this and it appeals to you, but the term "prayer journaling" makes you feel like you're at some self-help retreat, it's okay. You don't have to call it that.

A few days after New Year's, I flipped through entries I had written around this time last year. I was so encouraged by what God had done in the past year, the prayers he had answered and the things he taught me. I forgot I even prayed half of them. Looking back on entries clears my perspective. Recently, Matt and I were telling some newly-wedded friends of ours how hard our first year of marriage was. Not because it was our first year of marriage (and we had only dated a handful of months, long distance), but because we joined the core team of a church plant three days after our honeymoon, we had really intense neighbors and our friend group was going through big changes. We kind of rattle off that scenario a lot. "Oh, our first year was hard." But recently, I looked back on a few things I wrote during that time and it was incredible. God found ways to minister to me through a few really deep, amazing friendships. We lived two blocks from the beach and would walk down to catch the sunset. We learned a lot about church structure, church family and church politics. I worked full time as a nanny and made the most money I've ever made playing in the sun and eating fruit snacks. I use to get up early on Saturday mornings and go to rummage sales by myself. I'd get coffee and a doughnut and come home with some old side table. Matt and I would end up repainting it together and by Sunday our house was rearranged. Yes, that year was hard. But really great things happened and I don't know if I'd particularly remember them if I hadn't written them down.

All through the Old Testament, God urges his people to remember. "Remember how I rescued you from slavery? Remember how I've never failed you? Remember what I said?" The Bible is soaked with evidence of God's love and faithfulness to us. My journals have started to mimic this; it becomes less of a record of my day-to-day (although, I think this can be valuable) and more of a proclamation of God's goodness and simply his presence in my life.

Over time, you'll need to flip back through the pages less. You'll retain more of what you write. I find myself having a more trained eye to notice when God takes care of me. I get to know myself better, I can anticipate my own behavior quicker and I worry less. A lot less, actually. When money's tight, I don't just have to tell myself "it'll all work out". I have pages and pages to read of proof that it has always worked out.

Our world is becoming more and more digital every day. If you're like me, a lot of your conversations, your photos and even friendships exist online, through social media. There is something to be said about a physical book holding inked pages that mark your relationship with God. 

If you are looking for a way to experience joy and fulfillment, to speak more fluidly with God and gain more trust in him, write. Write down what you're worried about or what you're looking forward to. Write down a verse that really stuck out to you and why. Write a short list of what you're currently thankful for. Write down a prayer. Write a psalm. Even if you just carve out five minutes a day to write, I'm confident it'll make a difference in the quality of your life. And like most new, forced habits, the more often you do it, the easier and better it gets.  

Contentment Part II: Extreme Measures

I often pride myself on being a fairly observant person, especially in social situations. Unfortunately, I've missed a few things and when I have, they've been huge, obvious, screaming-to-be-noticed things. I worked with a girl once who was severely bulimic and terribly ill. I didn't know this until years after I quit that job, when word got around that she was checking herself into a rehab clinic after getting down to 70 lbs. We were pretty close, not best friends or anything, but I probably should've noticed and said something. I'm a naturally thin person and I don't particularly like when people mistake my large appetite for an eating disorder, so I try not to point any fingers, you know? She took advantage of how oblivious I was and would always majorly binge eat during our time together. The most memorable experience I had with her was one night when we watched movies together. Within two hours of watching some Katherine Heigl movie, she ate a family-sized bag of tator tots, two cheeseburgers, 10 chicken nuggets (we were suppose to share those), three chocolate croissants and a gallon of birthday cake ice cream. A gallon. She excused herself promptly after eating to use the restroom. I don't remember what was going on in my life to distract me from recognizing a fairly obvious problem, but at the time my best friend was also hiding a heroin addiction right under my nose so it must've been good. Anyway, I don't share this to exploit her story or make light of a very sad and real illness. It's just always stuck with me as an extreme example that we often get it wrong. I don't judge her, and I hope you don't either. I simply recognize her brokenness and realize I get it wrong too. Instead of enjoying something for what it is, I grasp onto it and shake it empty like a coin jar, trying to obtain something it can't offer. I binge on material items, on sleep, on work, on beauty, on attention, on anything really. None of these things are bad in moderation, in healthy amounts. They instantly become a problem when we make them god and want them to satisfy us. (I'll skip over the part where I try to put a new spin on an old topic. Timothy Keller covers this better than I ever could in his book Counterfeit Gods and I highly recommend reading and absorbing it.) My not-so-ground-breaking advice if you find yourself binging on things in search of contentment, is to severely cut it out of your life. At least for a while. Jesus created this concept when he said: "If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out." Matthew 18:9 Probably hyperbole, but I think his point is that we shouldn't be afraid to take extreme measures to flee from our sin. A few years back, I realized I always had the tv on. I usually wasn't even watching it, I just wanted noise in the background and distraction. Instead of making an agreement with myself to only watch it on certain nights or at certain times, I sold my tv and canceled my cable. My roommate wasn't thrilled, but our house was filled with books, laughter and conversation instead of Roseanne reruns and the Food Network. My prayer life was loud. My loneliness evaporated, even in a now-quiet house. This is a long-winded post that's probably telling you something you already know: if something is a problem for you, get rid of it. But really. Just do it. Delete your Instagram account if you feel like you're on your phone too much. Chop up your credit card if you go shopping too often. Get out of that relationship you shouldn't be in. Throw away all your junk food. It's not always that easy, and some addictions need professional attention, but sometimes it is that easy. I have experienced great freedom in doing my part and inviting God in to do his part. I'm amazed at how much more success I have when I don't try to reason with myself on something.    Hopefully I've offered you more than the back story of my paranoia that everyone is hiding something from me and you at least got a good book recommendation.  Later this week, Contentment Part III: Remembering.

Contentment Part 1

I start on my New Years resolutions early. Usually around November. I feel like I have more success that way and honestly, I'm usually so sick of myself by that time of year it's pretty easy to start. 

My list looks similar to last year's, and the years before. It probably even looks like yours, if you made one. 
Be more organized, be less messy, exercise more, eat more whole foods, shop less. This year I'm adding "read the Bible straight through chronologically". I've never done it before and my husband bought me a chronological study Bible months ago that had been sitting on my desk until recently. I cracked it open January first and loved it. It has some of the best commentary I've ever read (my version of "best" is probably different than yours; I like it short & simple) and I'm really enjoying it so far. It pointed out something I've never really heard before, or if I have heard it, it didn't stick with me. After the chapter about Eve eating the forbidden fruit, it notes that: 
"Satan helped Eve shift her focus from all that God had done and given to the one thing he had withheld." 
That's a fairly obvious observation, but I guess I had never really phrased it that way. I can really relate to struggling with contentment, can't you? It got me thinking of how many of my sinful tendencies are rooted in being discontent; in the things God has withheld from me. I so quickly measure and record what I don't have, I compare with others and become ungrateful. For example, God blessed me with an amazing, godly husband who loves me despite my neurotic tendencies and yet frequently I find myself zeroing in on how often he leaves his socks around the house and whether or not other husbands do that. This is laughable when I think about all the things he does do (like, stay married to me, for example). That's a lighthearted example, but it's a small version of a fairly big problem. Whether it's not being at the job you want, struggling with infertility, losing an important game or being single, it's easy to fixate on the one thing you don't have instead of all the things you do. 
With this in mind, my true goal for the new year is to find contentment in God alone. To remember what I have, what he's done and who he is, and not shift my focus. Sure, there are tangible things I need to change in order to do that. But designating a specific laundry day in my schedule and losing a few pounds aren't going to truly satisfy me or change me.  


I have to agree with the author that this sin, shifting our focus away from all God has done and can do, is responsible for many, if not all, sins. It bleeds in to everything! I believe that it's why we're overweight, or life-threatening underweight. It's why we have storage units of belongings rotting away. It's why our schedules are exploding. It's why we're obsessed with youth. It's why we border-line exploit ourselves on social media. Because Satan has undermined our contentment. 

In the next couple posts, I'll be suggesting some ways to cultivate joy and contentment in your relationship with God that I've experienced lately. If nothing else, to follow through on my New Year's goal of writing more frequently. 

Let's eat.

{Image borrowed from here}

I love the eating process.

All of it. Right down to doing the dishes afterwards (this is a VERY new development that might have it's own post at some point). I love going to the grocery store and filling my cart with bright produce and creamy jars of half & half (you have to go to the uppity stores to find those). I love picking a meal from a mouth-watering picture from a recipe book (er, Pinterest) and then watch as my ingredients come alive in a pan. I love going out to eat. Crunching chips with salsa or dunking bread into oil while someone else is off cooking my dinner. I remember reading a statistic once about how many people in the world live off rice and beans for every meal. It was high. I'm thankful to have the resources to enjoy food the way that I do.

But unfortunately, I don't always take advantage of them. For example, the other day I stopped into Target to grab a few things. This wasn't my usual stroll through the store. I was running late, I was hungry and I had a sleeping baby with me. I swung my cart into the line at the food counter and hastily ordered a hot dog. I weaved in and out of the isles, navigating my red cart with one hand and scarfing down my ketchup-covered lunch with the other. In fifteen minutes, I was loading up my car with a still-sleeping infant and I had fended off my hunger successfully and quickly.

I eat like that more often than I'd like to admit. I don't think ahead and plan a good meal and the next thing you know, I'm shoveling spoonfuls of peanut butter in my mouth to avoid a huge blood sugar meltdown. And that's lunch.

My husband looks at food with a more serious, appreciative eye. He never rushes through a meal, even if it's from a drive-through. When he cooks, it's incredible. His signature dishes are hand-whipped chocolate soufflé, a 16 hour smoked pork shoulder (not including the time it takes to pull it apart for pulled pork sandwiches), and 20 hour smoked ribs. Twenty hours. I don't think I've ever done anything consecutively for twenty hours. When I eat one of Matt's meals, it's a feast. Every bite is worth savoring.

Whether I'm eating a questionable-looking hot dog or biting into a perfectly grilled steak, I'm meeting a need. But one is so, so much better than the other. I'm not condemning the consumption of fast food. I'm convinced you can enjoy quality time with someone in a booth at McDonald's if you want to. I'm just reminding myself that God calls us into a different pace of life than the world sets, and that it applies to everything, even our meals. But especially, our time with him. 

A couple weeks ago, my friend Melanie compared eating fast food to the way we read our Bibles. It really stuck with me. Too often, we rush to consume God's word and race through a couple verses or skim over a chapter. Like scarfing down a burger with one hand while you drive with the other. Then she talked about how we should be feasting on God's word instead. Consuming it with intention and savoring it. As a lover of food and God's word, that illustration has really stuck with me. My free time has become incredibly valuable to me as I spend most of my day meeting Taylor's six-month-old needs. I try to fit in time to read my Bible every day, usually during his first nap. On a good day, I sit at the table with a steamy cup of coffee, maybe a piece of toast, and indulge a chapter or two of whatever book I'm in. I read it twice, my pen underlining words and sentences that move me. Sometimes I can write a few pages in my journal. On really good days, I get a second cup of coffee in. But other times, times when my morning is full and Taylor has no interest in napping, if I get to my Bible, I practically skim over the words with no hope of retaining what I'm reading. 

No matter which way (or how much coffee is involved) I do it, I'm meeting a need; Bible-reading is getting accomplished. But the days when I pour over the words, I appreciate the wisdom that I'm reading. It sinks in and changes the type of person I'll be that day. It gives honor to God's very generous and gracious gift of his story, in print, in my hands. 

When you look in the Bible, you'll notice that very few things are rushed. The Israelites were in slavery for hundreds of years before God revealed a rescue plan. Jacob agreed to wait to marry Rachel for seven years. And then another unexpected seven. Jesus was on earth over thirty years before he started his ministry. God is slow, steady, intentional and patient. He asks us to be too. Why wouldn't we apply those attributes to our Bible reading?

Over the past couple of years, I've been studying the Old Testament with a friend. It has dramatically strengthened my understanding of God's love and faithfulness. The more familiar I am with God's history with Israel, the more my trust in him grows and even trickles down into my daily obedience to him. It didn't happen over night, it took consistent time in God's word.

Some days, all I have time for is reading a few verses off the Bible app on my phone. I think this is better than no Bible-reading at all, but it's nothing compared to deep, thought-provoking studying that propels my faith forward. And more often than not, I have the opportunity for the latter, but don't take it. As we approach the time of year when everything speeds up and blurs by, I'm feeling compelled to prioritize my time with God and, like a good meal with great people, abundantly enjoy it.