Lately I've felt overwhelmed by my wandering heart. A heart that wanders away from the pure, incomparable love of Jesus and moves towards the evaporating lust this world offers.
I settle for the counterfeit product. Attention, value or approval offered by a fallen, broken world. It's cheap, but imitates the true love I deeply desire. It looks so similar, especially at just a glance or from a distance. But up close, when I study it, I realize how fake it is. Like a replica of a name brand item, it's quickly exposed.
But the Bread of Life, he satisfies deeply. His love not only meets my need, but completely satisfies my appetite. When consumed properly, I'm not hungry anymore. The need for praise, approval and attention from people dissipates and I wonder why I wanted it in the first place. My idols become cheap and exposed; they're so obviously worthless.
I see things like Twitter, blogs and Instagram multiply this appetite. The opportunity of over-share to say something interesting or post something desirable, all in the palm of my hand. To be "followed" or "liked". We feed on it.
I feel this way in my marriage. I wander away from the gospel of Jesus and into a false gospel. I start to believe that if Matt just loves me enough, I'll be fulfilled. Maybe if we go on more dates. If only we read more books together. If only he complimented me more. If only he anticipated my every need. If only he did this, or that. I begin to think that I'm going to "arrive" at some finish line where we finally have it figured out and I won't want anymore.
Overwhelmed, I lean into this:
"The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need."
Psalm 23:1 (NTL)
The more I choose his love, the less I want from this world, from people or from Matt.
