I went through a period of time when I didn't think the Bible was true. Not the stories of talking donkeys, virgin births or parting seas, but the promises from God. I was confused by verses promising that God would keep me safe, knowing that I could be physically harmed by one wrong move on the highway. I'd read verses like "he will rescue you from every trap, and protect you from deadly disease" in the book of Psalms and wonder why people, children, were still dying and suffering from AIDS. It was confusing.
A lot of the psalms I'm referring to were written by David. When l looked more into David's life and knew his story, his words made sense. God relentlessly protected him from harm, one time after another. He made David incredibly successful in battle and kept him safe while Saul hunted after his life. These praises to God are David's and to him, they are true. And although I haven't experienced God's presence the way that David has, there's still a lot about God that I can agree on. When I read verses like "You thrill me Lord, with all you have done for me! I sing for joy because of what you have done!" (92:4) I can shout and worship alongside him, because I too find delight in what God has done for me.
A few years ago, my friend Katie suggested that I write my own psalms to God. It was the middle of the summer and we were both working at camp, exhausted and spread thin. I had shared with her that I didn't want to forget what God was doing there, day in and day out, out of busyness or laziness. I wanted to look back and rejoice at the work he was doing around me and through me that summer. The next morning, I took her advice and wrote out a psalm. The first one was choppy, I wasn't sure if it should be poetic or not. I didn't know what words to use. But I kept writing them. Now, writing psalms are a regular part of my worship to God. My pen flows freely on the paper, praising God for everything from weather to healed cancer. Or simply, for his character. For his love.
If someone else read my psalms, they might not find them true. Maybe they have a family member who wasn't healed from cancer, but died. Maybe they have never experienced God's love through a spouse, because they're single. Or maybe, they'd relate to how much I just simply love God's word. Praising God shouldn't be about us, it should be about him. Still, it can be hard when you don't relate.
Of course I'm not suggesting that we skip over the book of Psalms or disregard David's praises. They're important, they're beautiful and they're in the Bible. But what I've learned is not to compare God's presence. It's confusing, it leaves you struggling with contentment and takes away your joy. And it makes worship about you.
My friend Bethany and I always joke that she is openly favored by God. For a while, I actually struggled with it and wondered why things seemed so easy for her. She'd walk into jobs or perfect ministry opportunities constantly. Before she would even have time to panic about a problem, God would get her out of it. One time she ripped her only pair of jeans and out of no where someone her exact pant size gave her a garbage bag stuffed with clothes because she was "cleaning out her closet". It was ridiculous! One morning, over steaming mugs of coffee on the couch, we talked about it. I shared with her that God's presence in her life encouraged me, but it was hard for me sometimes too. She threw her head back and laughed. Pointing her coffee at me, she admitted to thinking the same thing about my life. After that, I committed to stop comparing my life to hers. Now, I tearfully rejoice alongside her when God shows up in her life. Because I'm happy for her and because when God is good to Bethany, God is good to me. He doesn't need to be answering my wishlist to be deserving of my worship.
God hates it when we compare ourselves to one another. When we complain about what we don't have instead of thank him for what we do have. Just because I don't relate to David's stories in the Bible doesn't mean I can't praise God for what he's done. But I think it's important to record God's presence in your life too. I'm convinced that if you started recording God's greatness, in your life or someone else's, you wouldn't be able to stop.
