Southern Hospitality.

One of the many things I love about my husband is that he is southern. Although he somehow walked away from a life born & raised in rural Alabama without an accent, his southern traits still make an appearance in our marriage. Like how he "can't find his tobbogon".
"Your sled?"
"No. My beanie."

Something that's been really obvious is the difference in our pace of life. This sticks out to me anytime I'm in the south with him. People stop in their tracks for a conversation if you ask how they are instead of throwing out an answer in passing. Small talk doesn't exist; it's all lengthy conversation. Meals are longer. MUCH longer.

Matt & I were invited over to his pastor's house for lunch during one of our visits out there. We arrived pretty early in the afternoon and ate a huge, delicious slow cooked meal. Biscuits from scratch, vegetables from the garden and beef stew were all involved. And a huge pitcher of iced sweet tea, obviously. Hours went by. Eventually we were sipping coffee and enjoying dessert in the living room. I remember glancing around to find a clock. What day is it? How long have we been here? Are we imposing on these polite people? I couldn't believe how long we had stretched out this lunch date. I loved being in their warm home. The conversation was wonderful and would be hard to recreate. It's not that I wasn't enjoying our time there, cultural relativism just isn't a strength of mine. I'm use to breezing through coffee dates and double booking my nights to ensure that I maximize my social life and get small amounts of time with everyone I love. My attention span is greatly stretched when we're in the south.

In California, Matt and I both share the frustration of a rushed social atmosphere. Born and raised on the west coast, I still feel left behind in the quick, California culture. Community in the church can be a blur down here. It has seemed like Biblical values are sacrificed in order to keep up with the fast-paced lifestyle. We were once invited to someone's home for dinner with some other couples and we were in and out of our car within 45 minutes. We find ourselves tackling people to get in face time with them that doesn't involve an iPhone.

It has ignited some good conversation among us about what we value and how we're going to hold to that while we're in ministry down here. I'm thankful for Matt's southern hospitality, culinary skills and desire to share community over a meal. It has encouraged me to slow down and learn social patience. Lately I feel more inclined to have people over for dinner instead of meeting for coffee. (We'll see how I'll hold up the next time we're in Alabama..)

I've been really encouraged by the book A Meal With Jesus by Tim Hester. This paragraph stuck out to me:

                  "Hospitality involves welcoming, creating space, listening, paying attention and providing. Meals slow things down. Some of us don't like that. We like to get things done. But meals force you to be people oriented instead of task oriented. Sharing a meal is not the only way to build relationships, but is number one on the list."

The author does a great job urging us to do ministry like Jesus did; fostering grace and creating community through meals. The book is a quick and easy read, packed with stories from Scripture about hospitality. I'd recommend it to anyone interested in being challenged on our contemporary understanding of community.