Or perhaps I am the toddler.

After fifteen minutes or so of arguing with a 2 year old about saying please when she asks me for milk, I realized that my stubbornness might be a valuable parenting tool.

There I stood, limbs akimbo, with a sippy cup balanced against my hip. There she stood, hands balled up into a fist with a frustrated scowl across her face.

Following through with her takes up half of our day sometimes (we once spent an hour picking up a 15 piece puzzle), but I know that it's important. I want her to know if I say something, I mean it. As much as I want that to come across as me being a patient and loving care giver, it's really because I'm stubborn.

Stubbornness has actually been the root of a lot of things in my life. It's the only reason I joined the swim team in high school. Because my mother wondered out loud if I'd be able to do it. (In her defense, we are a very unathletic family) It's really the only reason my husband comes home to dinner every night. Because everyone cracks jokes that my cook-up-a-storm husband married a girl that can hardly boil water (in their defense, no one brings it up more than I do). It's why I am eternally determined to carry everything in one trip, which results in ripped grocery bags or dropped luggage.

As motivating as my stubbornness can be, it is quite toxic to my ability to obey. To do things that I'm asked or expected to do. I love doing extra housework for the woman I work for because it serves her, but I cringe at the thought of dinner dishes each night. I ignore the disgusting state of my bathroom but enjoy cleaning my sister's bathroom for her. I love doing Matt's laundry and delegated myself that chore, but if he tactfully hints that it's piling up, I battle a defiant attitude through three loads of wash. I could sit and read all day but if I'm assigned to read something, every turning page is a power struggle.

And who am I struggling against? Ultimately, God. Sticking it to The Man does nothing but separate me from behaving like Jesus would. Being a good employee, a loving sister & thoughtful wife are attributes of a godly person, but are meaningless when coexisting with a rebellious attitude. These actions don't chalk up to a Proverbs 31:30 woman, but in fact align me with Jacob. Wrestling with God and getting hurt along the way.

There is always a pot of rebellion simmering in the depths of my soul, frequently erupting into sinful & hateful behavior. Never mind the fact that I've boosted my culinary skills and can swim a mean freestyle, I want to be obedient, constantly submitting to God the way that Jesus does.